21 5 / 2012
ohmygod im dying i hate computers and electronic devices in general ah headache making me take like a break per minute is this even worth it omg dying
20 5 / 2012
Sometimes I feel like Christianity is such a constant struggle with no real answers.
But then again, you could say that with life in general.
But it’s funny, as soon as I start to focus more on God and trying to be satisfied by Him more and by the world less, He floods my life with evidence of His workings and His love for me.
And then sometimes I feel like such a failure as a Christian, but I’ve learned to accept that as well. I’ve learned to not place my value and purpose in the things that I do and the way that I act, but in my relationship with God. Cuz you know, you could die any day, any minute.
Yes sometimes my heart is bitter and impatient and touchy and I hurt people because I can be selfish and rude when I want to.
Sigh and sometimes I think about what about when I start to be hungry for the things of the flesh again. I mean I always am… but what about when worldly things start falling into place and I have all the friends that I want and the grades that I want and the boy that I want and blah blah blah. Would I care if I didn’t have God in my life?
I’d be a fool to think that I would never stray from God. But I’m confident in this, that I will never abandon Him. Because I’ve already taken the time to look objectively at my faith and ask myself, why? And I know now why I need God and why I need this faith. And I’ve gotten a taste of what it feels like to be living for something bigger than yourself. To have a faith community that looks toward God and and idk it’s just so exciting to feel God working in our church.
And it’s ironic, you know, sometimes I can’t really believe in what Christianity is saying because it’s ridiculous that something as pathetic and small as me could someday enter the gates of heaven. THINK ABOUT IT. Why would He love me?
haha typical pastoral answer to that would be “that ees da mystery of Christ.”
“There is no equation for this” - HK
oh lawls… I’m not really sure why I wrote this post. But yeah as I mentioned above a couple things I’ve learned lately is 1) you can die ANYTIME. aka God can shower firebombs upon your household any minute He wants. But he’s not. 2) You are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo blessed. You have a home. Think about that man you have a home, and you go to school, and you have a future.
Things get confusing when I think about grades and college and significance and purpose and things like that.
Let’s leave that up to God and take it a day at a time.
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20 5 / 2012
16 5 / 2012
ok yeah thunder is good and durant is good and hes supposedly likeable but for some reason it just makes me so mad every time he makes a basket like ugh stop
kobe4life<3
ima be so mad if lakers lose the series
ugh westbrook is so good
04 5 / 2012
“…you just have to remember. This is not our life. Our life is eternal and that is God’s gift to us. And this life is our gift to God.”
if you have time…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEhAtP2Fnb8
I didn’t know who Ben Breedlove was until today, but apparently he put up a youtube video of index cards explaining his heart problems? Not really sure, but this is worth watching.
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04 5 / 2012
Just to clarify some things with the universe
Sorry for being such an emotional wreck who can’t go a certain period of time without breaking down. wtf I don’t understand myself and I honestly don’t know yet what happened today.
If the price for feeling other people’s pain is being perceived as a ultraweirdo, I’ll take it. If the price for making people laugh is sacrificing my social status or whatever, I’ll take it.
Cuz i wanna prove to people that love is POSSIBLE and it is WORTH IT. And of course different ppl are wired to love in different ways and thats totally cool, but ever since I was young I’ve been sort of um. expressive?
Well I’m pretty sure nobody knows what exactly i’m talking about anyway, but. The small things do count, and truly love shown in anyway IS love.
I wanna prove to people that people DO CARE. AND I CARE. SO SORRY FOR BEING A FREAK AND CRYING SO MUCH CUZ I HAVE A BIG HEART AND I FEEL A LOT OF THINGS.
Cuz the same things that make people love me til their hearts ache are the same things that turn off potential friends and strangers who are seeing me.
and it was worth it to see that people cared about me, too
I’ll take it, man, I’ll take it all.
I’ll also take the pain if I can hold on to something that I know is just gone.
Well, I don’t know now. I don’t know.
Anyway. I’m gonna be freaking honest to myself, not trying to please other people cuz that never works anyway and I’d rather be brokenhearted and then grow stronger and wiser than go through life trying to fight the emptiness that comes with complacence.
And yeah sorry for having all these things I did nothing at all to deserve. Sorry for being selfish and immature. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
Sometimes I wonder why the struggle with pride is so hard, but then when I think about what a messed up piece of ddong I am, ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO BE HUMBLE.
What a good day. (no sarcasm) Good as in. the real good. good and bad good. righteous good. Clear.
caitlin kim i love you
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22 4 / 2012
self-esteem
Wow I am possibly one of the greatest people to have walked this earth.
Why am I so awesome in every aspect?
God made me freaking amazing
Dear future self, if you ever find yourself falling for a guy who’s not an absolutely incredible man of God, snap out of it cuz he’s soo not worth your time.
You’re probably so great. Wow.
I’m too good for anyone around me. What do I do?
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18 4 / 2012
wtf…. is this…
dead.
dead?
dead.
dead.
dead.
why?
what do we live for…
life is sooo short.
